First Aid for Anxiety and Apathy — How to Regain Control

Of course, every situation is individual, but there are proven self-help techniques that work effectively for most people in moments of crisis. You can choose the actions that feel closest to you — any of them can help you move the situation off dead center and feel better.

First, ground yourself and feel your body, bringing your focus of attention back from worries about the future to the real physical world:

– “wake yourself up” — wiggle your fingers and toes, blink, stretch;

– sit up straight, place both feet on the floor, and feel the physical support —  how the chair and the floor reliably hold you;

– focus on what is around you and on your sensory sensations to distract yourself from intrusive thoughts. The “5-4-3-2-1” technique can help: find with your eyes, for example, 5 red or round objects; touch 4 different textures (your skin, the fabric of your clothes, the surface of a table, a cat’s fur, etc.); notice any 3 sounds; sense 2 smells; taste 1 flavor.

Second, steady your pulse and calm your breathing so as not to intensify your own feeling of panic:

– wash your face, immersing it in cold water — this will trigger the “diving reflex,” which physiologically slows your heart rate and lowers the level of anxiety;

– do breathing exercises. For example, “box breathing,” where you inhale, hold your breath, and exhale, each time mentally counting to four, and repeat this cycle 5–10 times. Or simply try to breathe deeply and slowly, counting to three on the inhale and to six on the exhale — it is the exhale that switches our body into relaxation mode.

Third, take care of your physical well-being:

– ask yourself: do you want to sleep, eat, or drink? Dehydration is often disguised as fatigue, which increases our apathy, while lack of sleep and hunger prevent us from thinking rationally;

– wash off tension under a warm shower so your muscles relax — stress can provoke muscle spasms;

– do a warm-up or go for a walk — this will help you recharge and switch from anxious thoughts to sensory perception, and rhythmic movements will bring a sense of physical safety.

Fourth, put your phone farther away to reduce sensory overload.

– Close your news feed. It may seem to us that constantly monitoring the news gives us control over life. In reality, we have no power over most events, and there are noticeably more negative stories in our feed — they are more popular and better at attracting and holding attention. Which means our sense of anxiety from endless news scrolling will only intensify;

– Don’t overuse social media. Sometimes social media adds color to our lives and gives us connection, but it is unlikely to help dispel serious low mood, since contemplating other people’s “ideal” lives will only fuel our feeling of helplessness when we are in a vulnerable state.

Fifth, acknowledge that you’re having a hard time. Now that you’ve brought your focus of attention back to yourself and what directly surrounds you, it’s time to honestly tell yourself: “Yes, I feel very bad right now; my energy and mood are at zero. And that’s okay.”

– Don’t keep telling yourself and others, “I’m fine,” if you’re not. Suppressing emotions is very dangerous: the tension doesn’t disappear — it only builds up, draining our internal resources.

– Don’t torment yourself by scolding yourself for “weak will” and “unproductiveness.” Everyone has hard times. Anyone needs time to restore physical and mental strength. You have the right to put all plans and tasks aside for a while and simply lie down, letting your psyche reboot.

– Don’t make life-changing decisions when you’re under stress — postpone them until the moment when you are calm enough to think rationally and clearly.

Sixth, lower the demands you place on yourself and start improving the situation in small steps, restoring confidence, calm, and control.

– Start small. When we are under stress, anxiety, apathy, depression, it seems like we are literally drowning in problems and unfinished tasks. And at the same time we have no strength even to simply get out of bed. Start with the simplest one-minute tasks. Not “wash all the dishes,” but wash one cup. Not “clean the apartment,” but tidy the table. Not “go work out at the gym,” but do a couple of exercises at home. Any completed task, even a small one, will bring back a sense of confidence and control, breaking through apathy and reducing anxiety.

– Pour your worries out on paper, for example as a list titled “Things that worry me,” or share your feelings with an understanding friend. This will help you literally “unload” intrusive thoughts from your head.

– Use your calming rituals — drink a cup of warm tea, take a walk, put on your favorite music and move to it, watch a good comedy, pet your cat, do something creative, help someone. Don’t wait for “huge happiness” — get used to receiving it in small doses, focusing on positive sensations.

– Don’t try to change your mood with alcohol or impulsive shopping — even if it gives a temporary effect, in the long run self-blame will only make things worse.

– Ask yourself: what support do you need? For someone to listen, hug you, simply stay close, or help with something? Formulate this request — you can even write it down — and then say it out loud to a loved one you can turn to in a moment of weakness. Absorbed in our worries, we often forget that there are people in our lives we can lean on.

If low mood, apathy, anxiety, and intrusive thoughts don’t let go of you for weeks and interfere with your life, don’t hesitate to reach out to a specialist. It may already be a serious depressive condition, biochemical issues in the brain, for which no “pull yourself together, you wimp!” will help. Remember: the ability to ask for help in time is a sign not of weakness, but of maturity and responsibility, an expression of self-care.

Be attentive to yourself and take care of yourself!