Uncertainty Disguised as Politeness

I used to have this problem too, and this post is like a little self-reflection session.

Many years ago, my business partner told me: "You're too straightforward. You should soften up."

I decided to "smooth the edges"—and started overusing phrases like "I think that…," "Sorry, could you please…"

These are all uncertainty phrases that often masquerade as politeness. Quiet, soft, seemingly safe… But in reality, they erode our authority from the very first words.

• "I'm not sure, but I think…"
• "Maybe I would do…"
• "It seems to me that…"

It sounds gentle and careful. But in reality, you immediately surrender your position. As if you're apologizing in advance for your opinion.

And the listener’s brain instantly turns on a filter: "Well, if she’s not sure herself—why should I be?"

But there’s another way:

• "There are several options. I support this one—it makes more sense for the task."
• "I’ve looked at three approaches. This one delivers the best results."
• "In my opinion, the optimal solution is this one."

Your tone matters a lot here. Not loud, not aggressive, but clear, confident, and to the point.

If you recognized yourself—don’t worry. This can be adjusted.

Ask friends or colleagues to point out moments when you sound unsure. Replay these moments in your head. Imagine how you could phrase it differently—calmly and confidently.