Rational hedonism – how to live with pleasure

How hedonism is helpful and how it is dangerous

For a human being, striving for pleasure and avoiding pain is quite natural – these basic motives have long helped our ancestors survive, adapt and develop. That is why today, when most people no longer have to work so hard just to survive, many begin to consider pleasures the most important values, the meaning of their life. It is not only about a thirst for enjoyment, but also about minimizing suffering, stress and negative experiences.

Undoubtedly, the pursuit of pleasant sensations helps us satisfy important needs for rest, self‑realization and recognition. Pleasures can help us cope with fatigue and stress, increase our satisfaction with life, make us more self‑confident, harmonious and happy. But if the pursuit of pleasure becomes excessive, it can undermine our self‑control and emotional stability, contribute to the development of addictions, and prevent us from achieving long‑term goals.

Those who live only for pleasure risk sooner or later facing a sense of loss of life’s meaning, because we change, and what used to bring us joy may stop doing so. In this way, life can turn into an endless chase after new pleasures and an accumulation of disappointments.

How to develop a healthy attitude to pleasure

– Try to find the golden mean between “pleasant” and “harmful”, “I want” and “I need”, taking into account both your desires and their long‑term consequences. You can certainly treat yourself to your favorite TV series, as long as it does not harm your work or studies, which can seriously affect your life. It is also fine to cheer yourself up with a tasty treat, as long as overindulging in sweets and fatty foods does not become a dangerous bad habit for you. Become a strategist of your own life – it is important to understand that it is in your interest to choose long‑term, and not only momentary, sources of pleasure and joy.

– Develop self‑control and moderation, and, if necessary, learn to postpone pleasures or replace them with others. Sometimes, for the sake of your goals, for the sake of future health and comfort, success and recognition, it is worth giving something up today.

– Figure out what is truly important and valuable to you. Choose those pleasures that do not contradict your life values, that help you achieve your goals and match your desired lifestyle. Perhaps your greatest joy is spending quiet time with your family, discovering new places, or helping others. Such personal pleasures will be experienced more sincerely and deeply than any trendy parties or other status attributes borrowed from social media.

– Find healthy ways to cope with stress. We often try to comfort ourselves with unhealthy sweets, alcohol and smoking, or to escape from problems into the world of social networks and TV series. But there are many much more beneficial ways to relieve nervous tension – active recreation, walks and sports, new impressions and hobbies.

– Make your pleasures diverse. It is important to remember that in addition to the sensual enjoyments promoted by the “consumer society”, there are many non‑material, emotional and intellectual pleasures in life. These include the joy of friendly communication and creativity, new discoveries and hobbies, travel, self‑improvement, recognition, inner harmony and peace. The pleasure from such activities can be much longer‑lasting and deeper than, for example, the joy of an expensive purchase imposed on you by marketers.

– Learn to savor life, to take pleasure in simple things, to see joy in every moment. The practice of mindfulness can help with this. Try to slow down and truly feel what surrounds you, savoring the taste of breakfast in the company of your beloved family, the smell of coffee, the sounds of children’s laughter, the warmth of touch.

– Maintain a balance between “I want” and “others want”, “I need” and “others need”. Here specialists suggest the approaches of responsible hedonism and rational egoism. It is important to respect and satisfy your own needs, choosing yourself and your own happiness in most everyday situations. This is precisely what can give us the inner resources to make the world around us better, to help those who truly need our help sincerely and without harming ourselves.

Such altruism is a quite practical approach that helps us build and maintain social connections and reputation, strengthen our sense of belonging with others and our sense of significance and meaningfulness of life. Spending all resources only on yourself and your desires is a path not to pleasure and joy, but to conflict and loneliness.

– If necessary, seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist, who will help you figure out what you really want and how to satisfy these desires without harming yourself and your relationships with others.

You should not turn your life into an endless chase for momentary pleasures. Remember that one of the components of our happiness is a sense of inner well‑being. You cannot achieve it by indulging your whims and then blaming yourself for weakness or egoism, undermining your self‑respect. Find your own balance of pleasure and responsibility, egoism and altruism, and develop a positive outlook on the world and the ability to rejoice in little things in order to live consciously, vividly and happily.